Have you ever wondered what will make you at peace and happy? Have you tried to do anything and everything to create happiness in your life? Me too.

Finding happiness is more about being true to yourself, as opposed to finding what makes you happy. If you are like me you have changed your goals, your motives, your dreams and your career to try and find happiness and calm. I’ve discovered this is not the best way to find happiness.

In my quest for happiness I have found anxiety, sadness, depression, confusion and so many other feelings that I can’t list them all. In all of these feelings there was one common theme that I found and that is, “the harder I looked, the more deceived I became.”

I was deceived as to who I am. WHO AM I?! Yes, I was deceived as to what I thought made me happy. I thought helping people made me happy. I thought adopting animals made me happy. I thought raising kids made me happy. So many things that I thought made me happy, a clean house, clean laundry, mowed yard, you name it I thought, “oh if I do that I’ll be happy.”

NO. Those things make me who I am, compassionate, kind, loving, tidy and anxious. Yes, if those things that make me me don’t get accomplished then I am anxious. So I fight to get them done and in the process become stressed.

Those are just regular things in life. They are not the things that make me happy. Life long happy is what I am talking about. I have been searching for who I am. I haven’t found her yet. I have found some things that I now believe help a person become one with themselves. Become happy. Become calm.

First, never work at a job that makes you sad, depressed, angry, or anxious. It isn’t worth your happiness to stay someplace you are not treated fairly, you are talked down upon, a place where you feel, “if only they would listen, then I could make a difference.” If you go home every night and cry, vent, and drink a bottle of wine then it isn’t worth it. Your mental and physical health should not be put on the line for a job. Yes, I am saying quit that job! If it takes a toll, say bye Felicia. There are other jobs out there and you deserve to feel appreciated in your job.

Second, if people tell you that you are good at something, believe them. Do what you are good at. It’s hard for me to believe I am good at anything, but I love to write and talk to people. I would love to be a motivational speaker. If someone gives you a chance to be who you want to be then try it, do it and be proud that people think you are good at it!

Third, always dig deep. By this I mean, look deep inside of you and determine what has built you up. What in your life has made you strong? What in your life has made you laugh? What makes you wake up everyday? Don’t forget to look at and see what has torn you down. That also helped you become you, but don’t let it tear you down again. Every time you are torn down by something, when you build yourself back up you are stronger than the last time. But never let the same thing tear you down twice!

And finally, be true to your feelings. Those feelings of sadness mean something. You don’t feel sad for no reason. You are sad because something isn’t right. You are laughing and happy because something is right. It seems easy right? I know, it isn’t easy, but there are some things you can do to be true to you. You have morals, you have feelings and you are you. Be you, don’t let society drive you in a direction you don’t necessarily want to go. Be the gardenia in all of the roses. Be the one and only you, the man or woman you have grown to be. Feel it, live it, and love you!




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